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Post by Katie on Apr 15, 2009 16:56:33 GMT -5
Sirius,
It is I, the great and wonderful Vera Claythorne. I have decided to write you a letter to brighten up your Summer because I'm sure it's been as boring and dreary as mine has.
So, my darling clementine, how have you been? Did you get into any trouble? Please tell me! Save me from my boredom!
Please, please, please, PLEASE respond to this! If you leave this unanswered I just might strangle you the next time I see you! Until then, Cheers!
Your Pal,
Vera Claythorne
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Post by Sirius Black on Apr 16, 2009 5:23:06 GMT -5
Halooo, Vera!
How nice of you to write, dearest drinking buddy! Have you missed me? Obviously you have, or else you wouldn't be writing to me. Well, I don't blame you, to be frank I would miss me too! Might I ask why I am now your darling citrus fruit? You know you are the apple of my proverbial eye in the fruitbowl of life. James is a melon.
My summer has also been insanely boring - I am starting to rethink my career. I should give up potions, not become an aruoror and work in a muggle supermarket. Potions is that difficult and that boring, I might just throw the towel in. On second thoughts, that may make the cauldren couldren cauldron explode.
As you know, I am staying at James' and I will not be pranking his parents. I have been in a summer-long prank off wth James though, last time I checked the score, I was one up with a simple yet effective muggle thing called a water bomb. They're ballons you fill with water and throw at people, and they burst when they hit the ground. I am planning to bring some to Hogwarts - maybe Snape will actually have his hair washed after all.
Write back soon,
Sirius x x x
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Post by Katie on Apr 21, 2009 15:28:55 GMT -5
Sirius,
Of course I missed you, you goof! Nice to see your head is as big as ever, Sirius. Why a clementine, you ask? Well, "My Darling Clementine" is an American Muggle folk song that Gerry taught me and I thought that the term was funny so I decided to use it on you. Apple, eh? I like that. But, not as much as I like James being a melon! Ha ha!
You? Boring summer? Really? That's a bit of a shock, Sirius. A Muggle Supermarket? Those places are scary, I wouldn't advise you working there, my darling clementine (Ha! That makes me laugh every time...) Especially if you don't know much about Muggles. You'd be eaten alive! And that would suck, alot.
Oh, right, I forgot you were staying with james. How is that, by the way? Ah, water balloons, they bring back many memories from my summers in America. They are a lot of fun, just not when you're a girl in a white t-shirt, if you catch my drift. Snape? Washing his hair? Pshaw, like that would ever happen. I think his hair will be greasy and icky forever because of his lack of hygene.
Your Pal,
Vera Claythorne
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Post by Sirius Black on Apr 24, 2009 17:11:18 GMT -5
Vera,
It's great, his parents are so nice. I mean, his mom bakes and cooks, like, all the time! There's always something smelling really nice, and she's always trying to feed me cakes. Can you imagine my mum baking? Unless they were posined cakes to feed to me and other innocent children. But James' mum is really sweet and funny, she his some cakes in James' quidditch stuff! And his dad's really nice too, he's a lot like James only a bit more.. bookish. They're both so nice to me as well, how werid is that? Or maybe it isn't, I wouldn't know. But they've just sort of accepted me into their lifestyle, no fuss. Which is nice. And James lives in a nice place, there's a ton of green everywhere. It's nice, actually, if you like the outoors, which I do. Plenty of space to run around in and stuff.
The thing about the white shirt is duly noted, although I'm not sure you should have told me that... =P Word to the wise lady next term - wear a black tank top under your shirt.
Wanna meet up in Diagon Alley? It seems like ages since we last saw each other. Or is that just me, I mean, it's been ages since I saw any woman I can actually talk to. I mean, I have nothing against muggle women, they're all soo confused as to how I manage those magic tricks, but I can't talk to them the way I can to you and everyone else. And James has been a little off recently - not with me, but in general. I think... I'd better not say in case this finds it's way to him somehow, but let's say the problem (and the solution) is about 5 ft 1, with red hair, green eyes and has sworn to hate him for all eternity. I have a feeling I shouldn't have written this, but my quill won't let me scratch it out - mine broke and I had to borrow one of his mum's ones, and it picked up a habit from her of telling people stuff.
Better go and hide this,
Sirius x x x
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Post by Katie on Apr 28, 2009 19:40:29 GMT -5
Sirius,
Yeah, your mom doesn't seem like the baking type. I never met James' parents but from what you're telling me they seem pretty rad. My parents are always so busy that I don't always see them. It's a bit of a pain sometimes but I put up with it because it could be worse, for example, I could be a Snape. Haha, I'm so bad...
Yeah, I forgot how much of a perv you are, Sirius. That's how long it's been since I saw you last that I forgot that you were a perv! Lordy! We have to get together soon! Your advice is noted, by the way.
Yeah, let's meet up in Diagon Alley. I haven't seen you in the longest time and I'm in need of some form of amusement, love. Ah, James is still chasing after Lily? Poor chap, he needs to understand that Lily just isn't into him. Or, she needs to learn to love him. Just anything that'll solve this mess! It's been going on for ages and has become a bit frusturating! But, Diagon Alley does sound nice. When and where will I see you?
Your Pal,
Vera Claythorne
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Post by Sirius Black on May 2, 2009 16:48:51 GMT -5
Vera,
I'm shocked! You've already forgotten my first and greatest talent. I personally prefer the term "lady-spotter". No wait... I'm being conceited and sexist again, aren't I? I am ahsamed. I hope you can see the regret in this green handwriting here! I just can't help myself, it's like, get out of bed, make an innuendo, eat breakfast, making witty comments and if possible pranking James in the process... it's not an easy job being a round the clock charmer, you know!
Speaking of Lily, she wrote me a letter the other day. Weird or what? She said she wanted to turn over a new leaf. I told her I would try. Please don't show her that "lady-spotter" line, she'll go ape-shit-crazy! But I think she might be into James... just a teensy weensy bit... woah, I hope I never use that phrase again. Even in handwriting it seems so... un-masculine. But seriously, Lily and James? What do you think? He's obviously devoted entirely to her, I mean, he's gone all responsible!
Diagon Alley sounds great, shall we say Monday? Lets meat up in the joke shop... I would love to go do some stocking up. I need more supplies, I'm almost out of stink bombs. Although I'd like to think that I could do something a bit more imaginative than lobbing stink bombs at the slytherins. I think this year we'll roll out schoolwide. No-one, not no-one is safe this year! Muahahahahaaaa!
Seriously though. Watch it.
Sirius
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